Must have, OK to have, Must avoid…

This is a helpful exercise to aid in thinking about the situation/outcome you are looking for when making a choice between two or more options.

Some context, by way of an example. Say you’re looking for a new home. You visit at a few places. You see one house with a beautiful swimming pool in the garden, another with a home cinema setup that looks and sounds amazing. How can you compare one with the other? Which is the better option? Well, it’s very hard because you’re comparing two outcomes which look great, based on features you might never have considered until you saw the properties.

To get around this problem, it’s helpful to establish your criteria in advance, before you look at the options.

In this exercise there are three lists, which work together to help you compare a set of options.

  1. Must have — ”If I can’t get this, it’s a dealbreaker… either immediately or eventually”

  2. OK to have — “I’m prepared to be somewhat flexible on this requirement”

  3. Must avoid — “If this is present in the outcome, it’s a dealbreaker… either immediately or eventually”

What I want to get?

What I am not prepared to sacrifice?

What is negotiable?

Create a copy of this Google Sheet, and give yourself some quiet time. Some folks can get to a list they’re happy with in one sitting, but it might take you a few attempts/revisions and that is totally fine. Also, remember that you don’t have to share any part of these lists with anyone unless you choose to…. so you can be brutally honest and not filter your thinking. No judgement! This is what you really want… and unless you’re prepared to elucidate it you’ll struggle to get it.

Think about what matters to you… it could be the location, the commute, the opportunity to learn new skills, the sector. Your desires/needs on these topics should go into the “Must have” list. Think about what you really want to avoid: it could be an early-stage startup, or an inexperienced manager. At this point you’re probably realising that some things can be moved between these two lists by inverting them… “Must have experienced manager” is effectively the same as “Must avoid inexperienced manager”.